All apologies

I am sucking at this. No, really, I do. I have wanted to have something to post for almost 3 weeks now, but….things have been hard for the SB and I’m just trying to dig myself out of the muck.  Add on a wedding and a home closing in the next few months and well, the wall of stress/sad/blocked creativity has come smashing down and I’m doing the best I can to jack it up again, but…it’s been hard.

Any ideas on topics, or how you get out of funks – lay’em on me.


15 Responses to “All apologies”

  1. starrhillgirl Says:

    Tell us about what you’d wear if you were driving my car : )

  2. Plaid shorts and why lesbians should stop wearing them.

  3. Frankie: long-time fan, first time commenter 😛
    I had an idea when I went shopping the other day actually…
    Well, it all centres (I’m Australian, that’s totally correct spelling yo’) around me being a more-sartorially-minded-butch-in-training, so i’m not a hundred percent confident in some of my tie/sweater/shirt/belt etc combinations…so anyway, I thought ‘Wouldn’t it be awesome if I could show the SB this outfit combo to see if I was on the right track?” after that long winded rant, I’ve forgotten how I was going to express my suggestion articulately, except maybe that you could Obi-Wan some baby-butches?


  4. ladyfemme Says:

    You could do one on things that are ok for butches to wear sometimes, and when that is. Like- you know my feelings on polo shirts, cargo pants, athletic sandal sneaker things, carharts for non work times, and baseball hats. I have heard much “eh” about plaid shorts, lately, too….

  5. Blazers. Where how can i find one, when do i wear it and how do i take care of it. I really feel l like wearing a blazer is big boi status, and i have no idea about it. Help!

    • I know you were looking for an answer from SB but IMO the biggest thing is don’t wear a suit jacket like it is a blazer. Suit jackets buttons match the fabric, blazer’s usually have metal buttons, and sports jackets are exactly what they sound like something that could be worn while hunting things with fur or feathers. I don’t know where you are from but look at your local goodwill or other thrift stores. I have a vintage burberry blue blazer that I picked up for 5.00. Second find a good tailor. They will be able to shorten sleeves or take in shirts or hem pants if you can’t do those things yourself. Feel free to email me privately if you would like any further help.

  6. I do that. That OMG can’t create no time, no motivation, no joy, no desire thing. It’s cyclical. Creativity is a cycle that requires inspiration — a time to take in — to fill the well upon which to draw when you are creating. The way I cope with it is to remind myself of that, to coddle myself through the lean times by doing things I enjoy, that inspire me. I’m sure your muses will return.

  7. how about a transatlantic discussion about tailoring?

  8. I know the feeling….

    At the risk of coming off sleeezy… have 2 gin and tonics and see if that doesn’t kick you into the creative mode.

    I like your blog… hope you continue with it. Good luck.

  9. I would love to see some advice on how to dress in a formal work setting. My office is fairly casual, so on most days I’m good with jeans or khakis/slacks and a button down. Occasionally, though, I’m in meetings that require more formal business attire. In these situations the appropriate attire is a suit and tie or a women’s suits, either with a skirt or pants. This creates a dilemma for me. I own women’s suits, but am becoming increasingly less comfortable wearing them. I don’t own any men’s suits, but do own a tux. For non-work situations I’ve been able to get away with shirt/tie/blazer combinations or my tux, for black-tie occasions. Up until a year ago I had only worn the tux to “gay friendly” events (e.g. lesbian wedding, gay party, etc). In the last year, though, I started wearing it when I perform with my choir. This happens in much more “traditional” settings, churches, schools, etc, and I’m totally comfortable with that. But I’m having a hard time making the jump to wearing a (traditionally) men’s suit and tie in these work situations. I know I would be more comfortable in a men’s suite, even though a women’s suit isn’t torture for me, not yet at least. My concern is how others will react to me. I’m pretty frequently mistaken for a guy, and this doesn’t bother me. My office is very progressive and while the first time I wear a men’s suit and tie I imagine it may throw people off a little, I know there will not be any real negative effects. My real concern is how clients and partners will react. I meet with a very wide range of people from way left/progressive/social-justice types to way right/conservative types, its clearly the latter that I’m worried about. Part of me wants to just say “F them” and show up looking like the dapper dyke that I am and continue to do the good work that means so much to me. Another part of me, though, is worried about how I will be perceived, how others will react to me, how their perceptions of and reaction to me might affect my work, and on and on. I do know that a huge part of how others react to me is affected by how confident and comfortable, and at ease I am, but I just can’t seem to push through and take the plunge. Have you ever been in a similar situation? I would LOVE to see a post on this…

  10. Hi SB:

    Annie here from SASS Magazine a lesbian monthly.
    I Just recieved an email pointing me to this fabulous blog. Lovin it!

    Can you please send me an email as I am interested in what you are doing.

    You can Find us also at:

    all the best Annie

  11. Mary going Says:

    I second the request for a post about dressing up for work situations. Also, need to hear how/where to shop for a size 8/10. Traditional men’s clothes do not fit me. I had a suit made in 2008, but it was $$$. Can’t afford to do that too often.

    • Have you tried Express? It depends on your body type, but I’m also a size 10 and I find the size Small FITTED STRETCH mens shirts at express fit me well. If I’m going to wear the shirt under a vest or sweater I get an XS in the same cut. Sometimes you can find XS in stores, but generally you have to buy it online. I am 5’9″ and bought a 38 Short blazer from Express. I took it to an alterations shop and had them take in fabric from the middle of the upper back. Looks great on me now.

      I generally buy women’s dress pants from a conservative brand–try Eddie Bauer or Dockers. Mens dress pants are too baggy on me because I have to get a larger size to accommodate hips. The two brands I mentioned typically use a thicker fabric and also have more traditional cuts (no flare leg, no ridiculously tiny rise, pockets you can actually use, etc.). Tip- Buy a longer inseam than you normally do because both of those brands shrink up like crazy.

      Banana Republic also has smaller sizes online. But they’re a bit more expensive.

      Hope that helps.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: