Oh. Yeah. This.

Ok. It’s been over a year for anything to show up here. This is so not acceptable but here’s the truth. I’m tired. Life is so amazing, hard, and incredible, but becoming a parent has become the hardest and most rewarding job I’ve ever had. I know that people say that all the time but I think they do because it’s absolutely true.

Additionally, when you’re not a bazillionaire, and you’ve decided with your partner that having a parent at home with your baby until they’re a couple years old, sacrificing some major expenditures from your pre-kid life is a must. On top of that, kids are messy. I find myself choosing easy sweaters/jeans/slip on shoe combinations because it takes so much time to get everyone else ready and out for the day, and then we just get half eaten (insert food here) or milk on us anyway….and you can see the effort to look spit spot is somewhat diminished. I’m working on changing that because I feel better when I’m dapper.

Over the past year I’ve pretty much bought exactly zero clothes for myself. I bought one pair of shoes in May, and am desperately in need of both a new pair of work shoes and some new gym shoes, as well as some new work shirts. I haven’t had a shopping spree since before G was born, and both my wife and I buy stuff on a MUST HAVE basis only, for big needs.

Sadly, the biggest financial/family change is that I’ve traded in my awesome rally car in for a…sensible safe sedan. Not that my wrx wasn’t safe but…it was expensive. It was also mine. SL wouldn’t learn how to drive a standard to be able to drive it and not having both cars work for both of us was becoming annoying, and did I mention the expensive part? We’re saving a ton of money in both car payment and insurance and gas that it was a no-brainer decision. But I’ll admit, I was/am still sad to not see that machine in my driveway. I’d worked really hard to get/keep it and…well, it’s sometimes hard to give up something you love, even if it was just a “thing.”

That said, this coming weekend I have the honor of being ‘best butch team member’ at a dear friend’s wedding, and get to wear a tux for the first time, so – you can expect some commentary from there. We’ve been working with Jos A Bank, and…the experience has been a toss up so far but I’m hopeful that it will all pull together this week.

I’m going to work on writing more, figuring out how to be awesomely dressed on a budget, and continuing my growth as a partner to SB, and a parent to G. I’m hopeful that there is an audience for some of my ramblings and questions, especially as we move into an age where pointing out girl/boy differences are going to start becoming more and more pronounced. I also hope some of you can help:)

So what’s new with you? Parent readers – how do you balance parenting/money/looking awesome?

Tie model contest!

In my first post on this blog, I gushed about my love of bow ties.  My collection continues to expand, mostly due to the Tie Bar.  These folks get a lot of my money, so when I got this ad in my email the other day, I thought “whoa, I should tell folks about this…” and then TWO MINUTES LATER, I got an email from the Sartorial Butch about it.

So here’s a post.  Come on folks, let’s hit them with some awesomesauce butch models.  All those pics above are totally links–to the Tie Bar’s website, and to their Facebook page.  I will gladly tell you how much I have been pleased with their prices, materials, fast shipping, and customer service.

making a spectacle of myself

Hey folks, it’s bee listy stopping by to help out my comrade during NaNoBlowPop month, or whatever this blogging extravaganza is called.

Tonight I want to talk to you about something very near and dear to my heart: eyeglasses.  I’ve been wearing glasses since 1987.  My first pair was a big round red Sally Jesse Raphael-type frames, and I had to wear those frames for 3 whole years!

I’ve had many spectacle looks over the years, but the high price of glasses used to make it hard to keep one’s look updated.  In grad school, I had to get my first pair of bifocals.  I was barely 25 years old, so I indulged my vanity and paid the hefty price for no-line progressives.  The next pair I got cost me about $400 before my insurance.

My beloved DKNY frames...they were brown w/ blue and green around the lenses with a library temple. And they cost $400 before insurance. RIP.

Thank goodness that I came across Glassy Eyes.  I was living in Minneapolis and working a job that didn’t pay super well, which put me in front of a computer quite a bit, and I also have a hobby that causes a lot of eye strain.  I was really into the idea of not spending a billion dollars on new glasses, and luckily my work insurance covered my exam.  So I went and got my eyes checked, got my updated prescription–which includes my pupillary distance.  (If you decide to try online glasses, you’ll need that number.)

The first pair (pictured below in 1) that I ordered from Zenni Optical were the luckiest thing ever.  Because my first pair was a success, I was willing to keep trying.  I really liked the fit & the look, and the price– $12.95 plus shipping.  (I didn’t get the anti-glare coating on them.)  So I ended up ordering a similar pair in black, and I ordered some sunglasses ($17).  These were my first prescription sunglasses, and I was overjoyed!  I started reading outside, driving into the sun, and it was lovely.

Eventually I tried a few new frames to add to my collection.  Some were hits, some were misses…then I came across some frames from Warby Parker that I really wanted, but it was time to update my prescription.  It had been three years, and there was a significant enough change that I needed new lenses, so now I have three current pairs (4, 5, & 6).

1:  from Zenni Optical – no longer in my rotation because the prescription is outdated, but I still love the frame–so I’ve ordered them in sunglasses.

2: from Eye Buy Direct – These are the Ronnie.  I didn’t wear them very often because they were too wide.  They didn’t sit right on my ears, but they were a good back up pair.  No longer in the rotation due to the outdated prescription.

3: from Zenni Optical – it’s hard to see in the picture, but the temples are bright red.  When I first got these, I didn’t like them.  I  felt like the prescription was wrong–but that was my fault.  My prescription was outdated.  The look of these grew on me, but I only wore them out a couple of times.

4: from Warby Parker – Winston in Lunar Fade.  I’m in love with these.  I love the home try-on system that Warby Parker offers, and I also love that when you order a pair, they give a pair to someone in need.  I also had a really awesome customer service experience with them.  Before I realized how outdated my prescription was, I tried to order these in my old prescription.  They wouldn’t fill a prescription more than 2 years old, which might piss some folks off, but I appreciated it because i didn’t realize it had already been 3 years since my last regular eye exam. (I had a secondary prescription in that time for close-up work, but I wanted these for everyday usage.)  They came quicker than expected, which made me very happy.

5: from Spex Club – Hobbs in clear/tortoise.  I love the heft of these– they feel heavy and sturdy in my hand, but not on my face.  I like the shape of these a lot, and I purchased them with a 50% coupon that I scored on Fab.  They also came very quickly, and the anti-glare on these is so good that they almost look like I have no lenses in.

6: from 39 Dollar Glasses – Tennyson.  One of the few disappointments I’ve had in the past few years of buying glasses online was this situation.  Over at Glassy Eyes, there’s a review of their service that replaces lenses in your old frames with your updated prescription.  I paid $39 to have this done to the DKNY frames I gush over above.  I paid in advance, sent them in, and waited…and got an email from their lab manager that my frames had broken in the processing.  I was really bummed, but they suggested I choose another frame from their inventory.  I chose the Tennyson, worried that they might be a little bit small for my face.  When they arrived, I felt that my suspicion was right, but my partner loves them, and a couple of my friends have decided that I look like an old fashioned socialist intellectual, which is fine by me.  I’m still disappointed that the DKNY frames I loved so much are lost to damage, but so it goes.

I’m more than happy giving reviews and tips to folks who want to try this out– so please feel free to ask questions about buying online glasses!

Training the SB

This kid is so darned cute it’s distracted me from writing anything about my own personal style and instead has me focused on hers.

I think I’m doing an ok job:)

 

Indulgence

I’m exhausted in the most incredible way. I am so so in love with my little family. My wife had a little bit of time before G came, and put together the most amazing gift (I can’t believe she got ME a gift) for being G’s parent. She had these made for me, and got G a matching pink infant pair as well.

And here’s me and G, celebrating the end of her first day:

Now? Maybe a few hours of sleep.

The new SB

As in SartorialBaby.

Gracie Ray, born 8/4/11 perfect at 7 pounds, 8 oz, 19.5 inches long.

She’s about 20 minutes old here. And amazing. My wife is incredible and all are doing well.  Definitely more sartorial photos to come. This was just the first of us, so…you know, it’s special.

Sartorial About Town

Last night the SL and I were enjoying the gorgeous weather and dining alfresco with one of our favorite couples at one of our city’s most eclectic restaurants. We were barely into our drinks and deep conversation when I spied Brigham!  Brigham’s bow-tie totally made me smile, as others in bow-ties usually make me do. They were visiting my fair city from a couple of states away and doing some camping while in Vacationland. They were totally kind to me when I boldly asked if they would be interested in being blog fodder, and they were, so here you go. A totally excellent sartorial specimen, Brigham!

I don’t know if you can see it, but Brigham’s face is covered in glitter, which adds about a zillion bonus points.  Thanks Brigham, for letting me 1) take your photo and 2) put it on the internet!

Have you seen anyone out and about that you were totally fashion crushing on?

Nothing cuter than…

Butches and Babies. When you put them together, you get this amazing new tumbler site.

I can’t believe that in (give or take) 3 weeks I can submit one of ME and my kid. Awesome.

Because I’m also a dirty dirty birdie

My friend KD has created an incredibly awesome, much needed, Queer Feminist Sex Magazine, Salacious. And it’s totally dirty dirty sticky hot, and is about to launch it’s second edition!  It’s the first magazine where anything that even resembles what I find hot. In it’s own words, Salacious is:

SALACIOUS is a print magazine of queer feminist sex art and literature. SALACIOUS aims to meld pornography with high art; comics with erotica; titillation with stunning visuals.

So Really – you probably should get your hands on issue #2. Issue #1 sold out in record time. And once you have it in your hot little hands, my guess is you’ll have a hard time keeping said hands off of yourself – or anyone else. You know, in a totally consensual kind of way. You know what I mean.

Enjoy!

Coveting is all the broke can do…

Yeah, my life has been a succession of crazy followed by more crazy these days. Bee has been helping hold down the fort but I still love writing here and miss you guys!

Our baby is due to arrive anywhere from 3-7 weeks from today and we’re trying as hard as we can to prepare for something we have no idea how to prepare for. And buy lots of stuff. Ok, well, we’ve been gifted many many wonderful gifts but the idea of one of us not working for quite some time has me panicking just slightly over finances – so I’ve been practicing a lot of restraint and there’s been next to no personal shopping going on.

However, I have been doing a little blog reading – one of my favorite’s these days is The Dapper Dad. Not just because I’m about to become one, but because he is one classy dude. Recently he showed me what my next favorite piece of jewelry is: A fishook bracelet from Michael Saiger.

There is a black leather one on the site that I’m pretty much stiff over – however there’s the daddy brain in me saying “yeah – but you’ll put her eye out with it.” And that my friends, is parent preparation. I figure it’ll be about 10 years before I can consider “dangerous” jewelry. Or…maybe my pretty lady love will figure out a way for it to be mine for special occasions.

What’s on your covet list these days?